Let's Panic About Pregnancy!
Your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, sugar daddy, one-night stand, and/or gynecologist all have one thing in common: they want to be more involved in your pregnancy than you can possibly imagine. The fact that your body has a cute, little human being growing inside it has made your significant other just a wee bit jealous, frankly, and if you want your partner to continue to support and empathize with you after the endorphins have worn off, you need to let him or her see, feel, touch, and share the experience of what it's like being you!
Read about NASA's Nausea Simulator and more!
More Pregnancy Wisdom
Should you panic about H1N1?
More than you can even imagine.
There are all manner of seemingly benign foods that are in fact incredibly dangerous to your helpless, helpless baby. For example, coffee will cross the placenta and cause your baby to grow a thick, hairy pelt.
Sixth Month: You Think You Can't Possibly Get Any Bigger? Hilarious! Did you know that now that you're in your sixth month, you're a delusional, pants-wetting heartburn sufferer?
Our Customizable Birth Plan Just throw this at the first orderly you see and start pushing!
Quiz: What Are They Thinking?
What does the president of France really think of you?
Surviving Bed Rest
Make your own counterweight trebuchet!
Non-Pregnancy-Related Trivia You Can Discuss with Your Non-Pregnant Friends
Apparently those jerks want to talk about something other than the miracle growing inside you.
What to Look For in a Pediatrician
Will you choose the attachment-parenting advocate, or the attachment-loathing automaton?
Who's Going to Catch That Baby?
Wait -- do you even have a birth philosophy?
Ask Dr. Bradley and Dr. Kennedy!
"I am worried that after I have my baby my husband will cheat on me."
It Really Happened! Delilah's Discovery
"I told her that vomit was one of Nature’s ways of telling me I was with child."
Should you panic about H1N1?
More than you can even imagine.
There are all manner of seemingly benign foods that are in fact incredibly dangerous to your helpless, helpless baby. For example, coffee will cross the placenta and cause your baby to grow a thick, hairy pelt.
Sixth Month: You Think You Can't Possibly Get Any Bigger? Hilarious! Did you know that now that you're in your sixth month, you're a delusional, pants-wetting heartburn sufferer?
Our Customizable Birth Plan Just throw this at the first orderly you see and start pushing!
Quiz: What Are They Thinking?
What does the president of France really think of you?
Surviving Bed Rest
Make your own counterweight trebuchet!
Non-Pregnancy-Related Trivia You Can Discuss with Your Non-Pregnant Friends
Apparently those jerks want to talk about something other than the miracle growing inside you.
What to Look For in a Pediatrician
Will you choose the attachment-parenting advocate, or the attachment-loathing automaton?
Who's Going to Catch That Baby?
Wait -- do you even have a birth philosophy?
Ask Dr. Bradley and Dr. Kennedy!
"I am worried that after I have my baby my husband will cheat on me."
It Really Happened! Delilah's Discovery
"I told her that vomit was one of Nature’s ways of telling me I was with child."
Let's Panic About Parenthood!
The biggest advantage to your child being extra-small and not yet fully formed is that you can say whatever the hell you like, and your kid's not going to know any better. Want to call your baby a lazy good-for-nothing freeloader? A pint-sized coprophiliac? Or something worse? Your adorable infant will just coo and burble, if you say it sweetly enough.
Sadly, your baby will eventually start understanding the noises coming out of your noise-making face part, and when that time comes, you'll need to watch your words more carefully.
Read our list of ten things you should never say to a child of any age.
Some Let's Panic About Parenthood Favorites!
How do you communicate to your child that you still love him but don't approve of his behavior? With these simple non-yelling suggestions!
Halloween costumes you should have made the effort to wear this year, for the sake of your child.
Incorporate exercise into every minute of your day! OR DIE TRYING.
Your Post-Childbirth Vagina: Get To Know It!
Brace yourself for the most graphic post-birth images you've ever seen.
Camouflaging Your Postpartum Figure
Do you need mirrors? A sandwich board? YES. YOU DO.
Interpreting Your Baby's Cries
What's that sound coming out of Baby's face-hole?
Baby's Here! Your Life is Over
Look, now that you have the baby, you'll have to take care of it for the next few months at least, so why not make the best of it?
Figuring Out What Baby Really Needs
Force your sleep-deprived eyes open — your baby is trying to tell you something!
Do's and Don'ts for Discussing Childbirth
Get ready to sugar-coat your birth stories!
Q & A with Dr. Bradley
Show that baby who's boss!
How do you communicate to your child that you still love him but don't approve of his behavior? With these simple non-yelling suggestions!
Halloween costumes you should have made the effort to wear this year, for the sake of your child.
Incorporate exercise into every minute of your day! OR DIE TRYING.
Your Post-Childbirth Vagina: Get To Know It!
Brace yourself for the most graphic post-birth images you've ever seen.
Camouflaging Your Postpartum Figure
Do you need mirrors? A sandwich board? YES. YOU DO.
Interpreting Your Baby's Cries
What's that sound coming out of Baby's face-hole?
Baby's Here! Your Life is Over
Look, now that you have the baby, you'll have to take care of it for the next few months at least, so why not make the best of it?
Figuring Out What Baby Really Needs
Force your sleep-deprived eyes open — your baby is trying to tell you something!
Do's and Don'ts for Discussing Childbirth
Get ready to sugar-coat your birth stories!
Q & A with Dr. Bradley
Show that baby who's boss!
Enlightening Anagram Corner!
Don't yell at me: TALENT MELODY.
Don't yell at me: TALENT MELODY.
