July 9, 2010: THAT LONG WEEK BETWEEN INDEPENDENCE AND BASTILLE DAYS
It’s hot, and we’re in the mood to blame people for things. Fortunately we heard from a reader this week, who detailed for us all the ways in which her mom’s gestational habits screwed her up. Which got us thinking: how did our mothers ruin our lives? Probably in more ways than we could count. We probably would have gone to real-doctor school, if they had laid off the gin in that last trimester.
Of course it’s unproductive to blame our mothers for what they may or may not have smoked while we were helplessly floating in their poisoned amniotic fluids, but summer’s all about being unproductive, are we right? So next week we’ll take an in-depth look at how your mother’s pre-parental misbehavior has forever altered the course of your life. We would have done it this week, but we were too busy sweating. Anyway, we need to read some stuff, and also talk to your moms. Which is more difficult than you’d think. What’s up with the all-caps emails, ladies? And why are you faxing your replies?
Until then, read this young lady’s sad tale, and weep. Not too much, though–you don’t want to dehydrate yourself.
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