Archive for November 2010

November 12, 2010: BUY OUR BOOK OR WE’LL CRY

Posted by Eden M. Kennedy on Nov 12, 2010 at 10:04 pm in Latest News, News

No, of course we won’t cry if you don’t buy our book. We’ve already shed our tears — tears of gratitude for being chosen to channel the ancient, divine wisdom contained in Let’s Panic About Babies! All we’re offering you now is the opportunity to confer your acceptance of the truth contained in this slim volume by transferring a small amount of money from your bank account to ours. Is that too much to ask? We don’t think so. So go here for a preview of the knowledge to come, including a sample from our wonderful illustrator, Oslo Davis.

We thank you for your time and consideration.

NOVEMBER 6, 2010: IN WHICH WE DEFEND YOUR RIGHT TO PROCREATE

Some people might think more mature ladies, or “cougars,” as they’re known in popular parlance (right? We’re really not “with it” on the latest vernacular) (“vernacular” is another word for slang”) (“slang” means “street talk”)…what were we talking about, again?

Sorry. Some people think older women shouldn’t have babies! That was our point. And we think those people are probably just jealous, or whatever. As long as you’re healthy and your doctor gives you the go-ahead, well, you can tell those people to cram it.

Look. In some parts of the country, you’re seen as weird if you don’t have a baby before you turn 25. In other parts, you’re an oddity if you have a baby before you’re 30. In still other parts, you’re run out of town for telling folks you don’t want to have a baby at all. And we won’t even get into what happens in other parts of the world. We’ve only heard rumors.

We’re here to tell you that you can have a baby whenever you like, however you like, in whatever part of your house you like. (Don’t forget to put a tarp down, though, if you choose the formal settee.) Are there more risks, having a baby just as you’re in the first flush of perimenopause? You betcha. We’ve outlined those risks for you, because we love you. Now hurry up and read, before you forget!