Parenthood

baby_face_croppedWhile you may feel overwhelmed and nauseated at the idea of being the sole source of comfort, nourishment, and entertainment for this tiny helpless being for whose life you are utterly responsible, remember: you are hardly alone. If your friends and family aren’t in your house, pointing out every hapless decision you’re making, there are hundreds of strangers on the sidewalk with placards who are more than willing to leap into the fray. And for those times when you are utterly alone, you always have us, dear reader! We may not actually be physically present, but we’re right here in this web site, laughing at you—but quietly, so you can’t hear. That’s how much we want you to perceive that we care.

At this point we’d like to mention that the parenthood area of this informative, modern web site may be accessed through the links you should be seeing on the left. (No, your left.) As time goes on, more articles will be added to the list. We’ll keep them short; we know how busy your are, ignoring the housekeeping and not washing your hair.

Some Astonishing Facts About Babies!

  • The world’s fattest baby was born weighing 32 pounds, but part of that was the chain mail.
  • Men are clinically proven to be faster diaper changers than women, but women actually do it right.
  • Use of air fresheners is known to cause diarrhea and ear aches in babies. Other common irritants: Avant-garde composers, E.coli smoothies, leaving your baby next to a drag strip, bears.

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November 17, 2011: Let’s Panic and Clorox, part 2

This week we've got another Clorox-sponsored post for you, and it's so very clean! Funny but also clean! SO CLEAN YOU GUYS. Sorry, we've been breathing in some fumes. We won't say which kind. (Hint: the clean kind.) While we (literally) take a breather, why not sit back and... [read more]

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