“By the third month I felt bloated beyond recognition. Seriously, I was a size 2 — or a 0 on a good day? And all of a sudden I need to buy a pair of size 4 jeans! Kill me now, I’m a whale! So I called my friend Alex, and I was all, Girl, I’m going on a grapefruit fast for the next six months. She talked me off the ledge, hurried over with two pints of Chubby Hubby and said, “Welcome to the only time in your life you’ll be able to eat like a Romanian weightlifter.” By the time the baby was born I’d gained like 900 pounds. My ex-husband is so sweet–he still comes over once in awhile to wash me with a rag on a stick.”

–as told by Beanie McCord, age 27, Tallahassee, Florida