Congratulations! You have a baby. Whether your labor was mind-blowingly painful or merely agonizing—or you were smart enough to convince someone else to have the baby for you—you are now, officially, a mother.
We know what you’re thinking. Crap.
Well, you have a baby now, and you’ll have to take care of it for the next few months at least, so why not make the best of it—turn baby lemons into a teensy glass of lemonade, if you will? Let’s look at some of the good things about having a baby. There are more than you think!
Having a baby will:
- Bond you to your partner for life, whether or not he likes it
- Win you the approval of the far right
- Allow you to start one of those “mommy blogs” everyone’s been talking about
- Give you an excuse to expose your nipples in public
- Allow you to catch up on all those episodes of Sesame Street you’ve missed (My, how gracefully Maria has aged!)
- Exercise your arms from hours of vigorous stroller-pushing and baby-rocking
- Provide you with someone to blame for all those thwarted ambitions (see above, re: hatbox)
