At long last, your baby is finally here! Unfortunately, he looks like this:
Not to worry: once the trauma of birth fades and the swelling goes down, he’ll be his own, definitively un-Borgnine-ish self.
What’s that baby up to?
During the first month, your baby should be doing the following. Not necessarily all at once.
- Sleeping
- Peeing
- Spewing a viscous poop-sludge from his hindquarters
Baby may also be:
- Smiling ironically
- Wishing someone would make him a sandwich
- Giving you the finger guns
If you’re lucky, baby is:
- Secretly composing her first symphony
