So, you think your pregnancy is far enough along that family, friends, and random strangers will automatically share your joy? Think again! Match the person whom you’ve just told you’re pregnant to with the thought racing through their minds while they stare at you in disbelief (answers below).

1. Skinny teenage girl in line behind you at Starbucks
2. Your mother
3. Childless girlfriend with fantastic taste in shoes
4. Eerily calm male coworker
5. The president of France
6. Adorable five-year-old boy sitting in a grocery cart

a. “What an irresponsible slut.”
b. “I am so turned on right now.”
c. “I hope it ends up being just like her, then she’ll see how hard it is to raise a child!”
d. “Better her than me.”
e. “Am I the father?”
f. “Yay, let’s go shopping!”

Answers: 1, a; 2, a; 3, a; 4, a; 5, a; 6, a.