Eighth Month: This Pregnancy Shit Is Getting Old

What’s going on up in there?

By the eighth month, your baby can open and close her eyes at will. She may have also a full head of hair, sharpened talons, and the ability to create black holes during periods of extreme boredom.

Here’s Your Baby!

baby_gorilla

Would you have guessed?

You may be feeling the effects of the hormone relaxin this month, which your body produces in order to help your pelvic joints gently widen in preparation for the baby’s exit. Relaxin can also make the rest of your joints all crazy-wiggly, so be careful not to play any fast-pitch softball or get in any motocross accidents this month. Walk slowly and, if necessary, cover your entire body in bubble wrap.

Things that will nauseate you...

...during your first trimester:

Rapscallions

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