Summer Camp Options

Summer is here! Are you surprised? Did you forget that Summer comes after Spring? At least you didn’t forget to sign your kids up for camp, right? RIGHT?

Do you WANT them to go to a second-tier college?

Lucky for you, we’ve found some camps that are still accepting applicants. (God only knows why. Let’s not investigate too deeply.) Do you know the amount of research that went into this? The endless minutes of Googling?

Camp! Oh, the stories we could share of our own fond-ish Camp memories. The “swirlies” our friends playfully inflicted upon us. Our “short sheeted” beds. How when our old camp buddies try to friend us on Facebook we use all their personal information to destroy them.

Please don’t give us the whole “we love our children and would rather not ship them away to live with strangers all summer” nonsense. What’s more important: you enjoying your kid’s company, or your child getting the opportunity to experience character-building and lanyard-braiding for weeks or (depending on your budget) months? Nothing else will give them the confidence and self-reliance they’ll need to become a successful adult. NOTHING.

“But my child will miss me!” you say. Of course they will. They’ll probably cry themselves to sleep and no one will want to be their friend and they’ll be eaten alive by black flies and then fall into a campfire and burn off their eyebrows.

But that’s only a “probably.” You might also see your child’s confidence flourish, which is also maybe something that can happen. So: which camp will bring out your child’s inner Teddy Roosevelt? Our illuminating table has the answer.
Click to enlarge.

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